Have you ever been out with your kids and told how beautiful your grandchildren are, well I have. In fact it happens quite often. In my wildest dreams I did not think I would be fifty and have three children under the age of 8. When I was a young girl and would dream about one day becoming a new mother, NEVER did that dream include having gray hair and lots and lots of wrinkles, but I do and it makes me smile to think about it.
I just want to say that it is all about how you feel inside, just don’t look in the mirror. People often ask how I raise babies at my age (a compliment I am sure), I guess it is because I don’t know any different or is there really a difference when it comes to loving and taking care of a child. Is it ever too late in life to love a child, of course the answer is no. This is the time in my life that I have been blessed to start my family and who am I to question that? I do however love my Heavenly Father deeply and think he must have an amazing sense of humor. I am very excited for the journey that he has planned for me and my husband with these three beautiful although at times mischievous little ones.
Here is when your faith really kicks in and you once again realize that you are not in control of your life but that the Lord is and that he truly has a plan for you and these little miracles that become a part of your heart and soul.
Each of my little ones came to us in very special ways and we have definitely been able to see the Lords hand through each of our adoptions. Our adoptions are all open adoptions, meaning we have stayed in contact with our birth mother’s and even their extended family. We exchange pictures and updates and usually meet once a year. This works for us because we believe that it is just more people to love this child and how could we deny anyone of that, of course it has to be a healthy environment for our little ones. We also believe this has helped our birth mother’s heal and to be able to move forward with their lives knowing that the child that she placed is safe and very loved. It also helps my little ones understand and feel secure with the fact that their birth mothers have placed them in our arms because they had such a selfless love for them that they wanted them to be loved by a family.
Just a small introduction regarding our journey and how we have arrived at the miracle we like to call adoption. My husband and I could never have a biological child of our own and doctors could never tell us a reason why. So we went along through life with the attitude that if it is meant to happen it would. We did not dwell on the issue of infertility but instead focused on the blessing we had been given and lived life. It wasn’t until we were older and with a little nudging from my sister we decided maybe we should readdress this issue and talk with an adoption agency.
We requested adoption papers three times before we actually moved forward and filled them out, my husband and I were both 43 years old at this time. Our case worker was very honest with us and let us know that the wait could be a very long process and even then there are no promises that a birth mother would choose to place with us. Three months later we received a call that a young couple would like to meet us.
As we sat in the big room at the agency I remember this young couple as they came in they looked so young but had such a maturity about them. I remember thinking how much they must love this child to be carefully making a very thought out plan for this child and its future. We felt such a wonderful connection with this amazing couple as we sat and got to know one another. Both of our counselors were with us to help guide us through our first meeting. The conversation was very easy and we were so shocked to have so many things in common with them, even a lot of little similarities we shared (tippy toes and Disneyland). We talked about our struggle with infertility, our families, interests and hobbies and quickly formed a lasting friendship. Over the next several months we were able to continue to get to know one another and build our relationship.
We quickly came to love this amazing young couple and were so impressed with them. They were so good to one another and we were glad they had one another for support. I remember talking with our birth mother and she said she knew that she was having this child for me. She was doing the part I could not and I would do the part that she could not.
The four of us went to dinner very close to the due date. We had just finished the nursery and had brought pictures for them to see where he would be sleeping at night so that they would be comforted that he would be loved and well taken care of. After they had looked at all of the pictures they told us that we were the couple they had chosen to raise this precious little boy. We all cried and hugged each other and I could not eat another bite. Our birth mother asked us what name we had picked out for the baby. We told her we had two wonderful names picked out and we loved them both, so we thought that they should chose. Since one had a name she loved and the other was the name of the birth father, he is named after his birth father and his dad. We continued to talk about the things that we all wanted in life for him. I could tell they had really tried to think/plan everything to give him a great life.
The day had arrived and finally our little miracle arrived into this world at 3:31am. We tried not to get too excited because there was still that small chance that the birth parents would not be able to place with us when the time came. We decided to try to do our normal routine as much as possible while receiving updates. It was finally time to make calls out to grandparents and aunts and uncles letting them know that our baby had arrived. We were told later what a hard time our birth parents had and that they were both given a special blessing so that they would be able to do what was best for this child.
I never thought I would write, today is the day that we picked up our son up and brought you home. Placement took place at the adoption agency, our birth parents come right from the hospital to the agency. I truly felt from that first moment as I looked at him in his birth parents arms and then held him for the first time, I fell in love. When we said our goodbyes to our birth parents that day my husband and I held each other and our new baby and cried. We were so happy but heartbroken at the same time for our birth parents because we loved them so much and it was so hard to see them go through something so hard, to place this sweet little boy. Our first pictures as a family were taken that day.
As we had promised our birth parents when our little guy turned one we filled out the paper work to adopt again. This time things did not go near as fast and our case worker said we might want to look into other agency’s but as we ventured out a little we decided it felt right to stay where we were and wait it out. It had been three years and still we had not received any news. Our little one loved babies and when I would catch him looking at one I would ask if he would like one and he would always say, oh yes.
My next two little ones came to our family in a very different way. When our little guy was just three years old his Grandma passed away suddenly. It’s funny reading this as I type, but I am really a very private person. I never went into my fertility or adoption affairs with anyone other than maybe a family member. I only tell you this because what comes next was very out of character for me. At my mother-in-law’s funeral a couple that we consider like family but had not talked in about 10 years, came through the line. We did the usual catch up chit chat and then I asked how the kids were. There was a short conversation on her older daughter being pregnant and not sure of the next step. I swear to you as I am writing this, I could literally feel my mouth fly open and blurt out, to let her know we are in the adoption program and if…. The minute it flew out of my mouth I was completely mortified and knew instantly it was my mother in law pushing. Lol, bless her heart for that nudge, never would I say something like that especially at a funeral. Even though I do come from a family that often blurts stuff out before thinking.
Two months later I received a call that this young lady did indeed wanted us to adopt her baby boy. We were elated and worked through the same adoption agency. We were able to visit with our new birth mother and bond before our next bundle of joy entered the world just two months later.
We told our little one that he was getting a baby brother right after he was born. I can still see that puzzled look on his face as it slowly turned into a gigantic grin. Twenty four hours later we loaded up and headed to the hospital. We all sat in the lobby of the hospital and signed the paperwork and then we were invited to go up to the nursery, to view our new baby for the first time. It is amazing how the love is instant! His big brother was so proud and could not wait to hold him. When we got home, we called the family to come over and surprised them with our new little boy and they had no idea. He is named after his grandmother that passed.
Five months later we set up a meeting with his birth mother to visit with him for the first time since his birth. What an exciting day, she was so excited to see him and find out how much he had grown. We were able to catch up on all the day to day activity when an unexpected conversion began to happen. I think I was in a little bit of a daze because I really was not sure what was going on. I looked at my husband and he looked at me both of our mouths wide open. She was telling us she was pregnant again and yes she wanted to place with us. If you haven’t been keeping up on the math, I was now 46 years old and so was my husband.
So, once again we would be blessed with yet another miracle. It would be number three and a little girl to boot. I don’t mind letting you know I was a little nervous. See I figured I had little boys down by now but a little girl. I think my husband was more nervous of how much I was going to spend on clothes and shoes.
Just like her brother before her, we made the journey to the hospital to pick up a baby sister. Our sweet angel entered into this world one year to the day that her brother did. Yes, we have two children born on the same day and one year apart and yes I am now 47 years old. The amount of love and joy she brings to our family is indiscernible. But let’s not kid ourselves with the joy also comes the teasing, fighting and WWF maneuvers. I do have video and plan on using it when they start dating.
My oldest thinks that is how babies come, you just go pick them up at the hospital and take them home. I have to admit I have the best recoveries even at my age.:-)
I personally cannot imagine my children coming into my life any other way and after it is all said and done I would not have it any other way. The Lord gives you trials throughout your life and at first you might not know why but down the road the puzzle pieces fit and in the end we arrived at our Eternal Family.
Love is without age
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